Kaddish is a bond which unites the Jewish generations from time immemorial, and unto eternity.. Kaddish is the way we show our respect for our parents and the way they showed their love and respect for their parents. It is only recited within 11 months from the day of death, even if he only began saying Kaddish on the last day of the 11th month. Kaddish is an affirmation of God, and reciting it within the community, links us and the one we remember on that day with God and the Jewish community. [15] See Shevet Halevi 165 that if the son hired him then he may not say it in the 12th month; Gesher Hachaim 30/9-4 that so is custom of some; See Pnei Baruch ibid; Nitei Gavriel 50/15; The Rebbe recited Kaddish for only 11 months for the Rebbe Rayatz and the Rebbetzin; See Sichas 9th Shevat 1951 and Sefer Hasichos 1989 of 21 Teves that the Rebbe stopped saying Kaddish after 11 months and explained why. The midrash tells us that even when the wicked die, we must not be joyous; we mourn the loss of human life created in the image of God. Rabbi Dov Linzer is the President and Rosh HaYeshiva of Yeshivat Chovevei Torah Rabbinical School, and primary architect of its groundbreaking curriculum of Torah, Halakha, pastoral counseling, and professional training. The Rema says that the custom is that the child only says kaddish for 11 months because we don’t assume that the parent … Kaddish is only said with a minyan (prayer quorum of ten men), following a psalm or prayer that has been said in the presence of a minyan, since the essence of the Kaddish is public sanctification. When Rabbi Meir prayed for the death of his oppressors, Bruriah, his wife, chided him. [Rama ibid] The mere ending of the Kaddihs after 11 months has the ability to refine the judgement of the deceased and cause him to be elevated above. [Chasam Sofer E.H. 1/69], One whose father told him to say Kaddish for 12 months: If one’s parent commanded him to say Kaddish for 12 months then he is to do so. It is customary for all the mourners in the congregation to recite Kaddish in unison. Kaddish is a short prayer said by someone who has lost a parent. In modern practice, mourners may recite Kaddish for eleven months for other immediate relatives as well. God’s rebuke of the angels and Shmuel Ha’katan’s  teaching are objective assessments; the songs at the Red Sea and God’s rebuke of King Hezekiah reflect subjective experiences. Copyright © 2021 Yeshivat Chovevei Torah. How does one calculate the end of the eleven months for Kaddish-from the time of death or burial? Other Poskim[11] rule it is counted from the day of the death. Others say it goes from the date of the burial (See Pnei Baruch 34:9). [14], The custom is to recite it for only 11 months. Commemorating the death of a previous spouse after remarriage: From the Rav’s Desk: Convert keeping Yartzite for Jewish father, Attending a meal and joyous event during the year of Aveilus, past Shloshim, From the Rav’s Desk: Mourning a non-Frum relative, From the Rav’s Desk: Lighting from flame of Yartzite candle, From the Rav’s Desk: By what time should one Daven Musaf on Shabbos, Yom Tov and Rosh Chodesh. Kaddish is a Mitzvah, a true act of kindness, and one of the basic cornerstones of Jewish life. In an ideal world, the death of the Egyptians would be unnecessary. Even though saying Kaddish and the prayers are beneficial for the (deceased) parents, nevertheless they are not the essence. Similarly, while there is no halakhic obligation to observe shivah in the cases we are discussing, one may certainly make the choice to observe shivah or some form of it that feels appropriate (i.e., number of days and practices). (Of course you should always stay on good terms with them and act respectfully towards your parents.) One who committed suicide: If the deceased committed suicide it is permitted to say Kaddish for 12 months on his behalf. [13] Igros Kodesh 13/410, brought in Shulchan Menachem 5/295. Rabbi Linzer has published many Torah articles, writes a widely read weekly parsha sheet, authors teshuvot on a wide range of contemporary halakhic topics, teaches regular Talmud and Halakha classes, and serves as a religious guide to the yeshiva’s students and 135+ rabbis serving in the field. This restriction was observed more in the breach than in practice, and well-known sages, including Rambam and Ramban, served as doctors for Jews and non-Jews alike. God silenced them saying, “My creatures are drowning in the sea, and you wish to sing? [12], How does one calculate the end of the eleven months for Kaddish if one was in a different time zone at the time of death?[13]. Website designed by Addicott Web. If this is the case, certainly, when we are not dealing with wicked people, Jews and Gentiles, we must treasure their lives and mourn their deaths. Other Poskim[20] however rule he is not to recite it. In modern practice, mourners may recite Kaddish for eleven months for other immediate relatives as well. [See Beis Yitzchak 2/157; Mishmeres Shalom Tzadik 26 that so did the son of the Maharshak for his father; Shevet Halevi 2/161 and 165; Igros Kodesh 4/140 regarding Reb Nissan Tloshkin who asked for Kaddish to be recited for 12 months; Poskim in Pnei Baruch 34 footnote 4 and Nitei Gavriel 51/10], One who does not know the date of his father’s passing: See Pnei Baruch 34/6, If another relative passed away within the 11 months, may he say Kaddish in the 12th month of the parent? That being said, some people choose to say Kaddish for relatives for whom no one is saying Kaddish. Kaddish is recited in synagogue, during the three daily prayer services, every day for eleven months after the passing of a parent. The Talmud uses this term, primarily in interactions between Jews, and its aim is not of pragmatic self-interest. The Kabbalists explain that the child saying Kaddish also elevates the level of the parent in heaven. Should we read this statement in absolute terms or is halakhah cognizant of the biological and emotional bonds between parent and child regardless of legal definitions? Kaddish should also be recited annually on the Yahrzeit (anniversary of death). The rishonim (Or Zaruah 2:50; and see Mahzor Vitry 1:144, and elsewhere) cite a midrash that recounts how Rabbi Akiva saved a deceased person from the judgment of Gehinnom by teaching the deceased’s son to sanctify God’s name. Purim Meshulash in Jerusalem-Is the Megillah to be read with its blessings even without Minyan. Indeed, this idea is so powerful that the custom has developed that a person saying Kaddish for a parent has a חיוב, that is, priority to lead prayers except on joyous days such as Shabbat and holidays.
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